We all realize that at some point in our lives we will lose someone we love. Death is as much a part of life as birth and the death of a loved one causes more human anxiety than any other life event. Our response to this daunting occurrence can produce strong emotions and overwhelming distress. Much has been written on how to navigate the loss of a loved one but in truth, there is no singular way to do so. We all grieve loss in our own way and at our own pace. Utilizing horticultural therapy methods in the grieving process has proven successful in reducing anxiety and depression associated with grief.
How We Commemorate the Loss of a Loved One is Changing
Societal changes, technology and shifting customs are influencing the way we honor our deceased. Today, the event to commemorate the end of life has become a time to celebrate the deceased rather than to mourn their loss. Choosing a celebration of life where the personality, interests and achievements of the deceased are the focus has become customary. In many cases, it is not necessary to attend such an event in person. Attending virtually and posting condolences on a memorial website or social media platform is widely accepted. Burial customs are changing dramatically as well. Green burials, that focus on reducing carbon emissions and conservation of natural resources, along with scattering of ashes, are becoming more common than traditional methods. A green burial is chemical free and will retain the natural habitat of the gravesite. One other change is the re-emergence of the ancient holistic practice of assisting those dying and their loved ones with the services of a death doula or end-of-life doula.
End-of-Life Care
Carrie McCann MSW, and graduate of the Horticultural Therapy Institute (HTI) is an end-of-life doula practicing in the Greater Pittsburgh area. Carrie also uses the term “death worker” or “death companion” to describe her position. Simply put, an end-of-life doula provides practical, emotional, and spiritual tools for the person dying, their loved ones and care partners. While working as a bereavement counselor with Hospice, Carrie noticed gaps in the care provided to families before and after a death. Working with Hospice, she is part of an interdisciplinary team that includes nurses, social workers, health care aides and a chaplain. While Hospice provides amazing and supportive end-of-life medical care it lacks in providing end-of-life emotional care. This is due to Hospice being federally funded with many restrictions and regulations in place.
Working with plants offers an entryway into being with big emotions that isn’t always available in talk-oriented settings. It fosters connection between people, nature, and the rhythms of life
Carrie McCann
To address the gaps in end-of-life care Carrie founded Moonset & Co. “Here I support families (however that is named) before, during and after a loss through non-medical support.” Sometimes her clients contact Moonset & Co. before Hospice services are needed. Once (and if) Hospice is involved Carrie supports her clients by collaborating with Hospice. Sometimes her client is the person with a terminal diagnosis who seeks support for the last months of life and sometimes it is the family or a friend of the dying person who reaches out.
Carrie is available to the individual, family and care partners as a source of support and comfort. This may involve assisting with the business parts of end-of-life care or it might involve sitting and listening to a family member or the person who is dying. Those who seek Carrie’s services, find a safe and supportive place for candid conversation regarding death, dying and the grieving process. Even though grief literacy is improving in the US, speaking with or acknowledging someone who has recently or is currently experiencing loss often makes us uncomfortable. This can be seen as a lack of compassion and incites disconnection for those grieving. Carrie is a registered yoga teacher and offers yoga, mindfulness, and meditation to her clients because “grief can get stuck in the body” delaying healing and recovery. She works one-on-one with people in the community as well as teaching workshops and offers consulting. In 2023, When Carrie completed the certificate program at HTI she knew she wanted to expand her knowledge and offer her clients nature-based therapeutic programming. She believes a connection to nature is extremely supportive during the grieving process. When she leads grief gardening sessions and seasonal therapeutic horticulture programs they provide a healing connection to nature. Carrie states, “Even the simplest interactions with plants can create moments of comfort, reflection and gentle self-care.” Caregiver appreciation and acknowledgement sessions are also included in Moonset & Co. programming. She strongly feels that creating community for those feeling isolated by grief is a critical component to promote health, healing and well-being.
Nature as a Guide in the Grieving Process
When dealing with profound change, such as the loss of a loved one, it is common to feel disconnected from family, friends, even oneself. Strong emotions and rumination can delay the healing that is necessary to “reground” oneself. Using nature as a guide in the grieving process allows one to process loss at their own pace and natural environments provide a non-judgmental sanctuary for our grief. Tending to our grief is an essential step in the healing process and spending time in nature reminds us that we are not alone in this life. Walking slowly along a woodland path one may notice an abundance of thriving trees, mosses and ferns, yet within that same space there are dead and dying plants all around. Leaves that cover the forest floor each autumn provide winter shelter and nutrients for other plants, animals and insects. Wildflowers, post bloom, produce seeds to ensure their genus and species will continue. Nature amplifies the interconnected cycles of birth, life and death. Likewise, our memories of loved ones and keeping family traditions alive can help to hold close the spirit of those we lost and sustain us through our struggle with grief.
Resiliency in the face of adversity is one of nature’s most significant lessons. As horticultural therapists we bear witness to nature’s unique ability to heal the body, mind, and spirit. It is the cornerstone of our profession. Facing the death of someone you love is never easy. Navigating their loss can become overwhelming, even disabling for a time but utilizing the resiliency of plants and the interconnected rhythms of nature in horticultural therapy programming can become both a mirror and a mentor for those seeking healing and improving their quality of life. In essence, purposefully engaging with nature allows us to tend to our grief in our own way and at our own pace.
